5 Steps to Stop Negative Self-Talk and Imposters SyndromeJun 10, 2020
Are you tired of hearing your inner critic tell you why you are not good enough? Worthy enough? Pretty enough? Thin enough? Outgoing enough? Confident enough?
Are you tired of playing the same self-negative beliefs on repeat? Day after day, year after year?
Our minds are so powerful and often can lead us down a rabbit hole of thoughts that keep us feeling defeated, unfulfilled and stuck in life.
The great thing is, that like any muscle in our body, we can learn to strengthen our mind and our beliefs by digging a little deeper and doing the internal work.
Changing your beliefs is the fastest way to create lasting change in your life. Doing the INTERNAL work will get you the EXTERNAL results.
If your self limiting beliefs are holding you back and you are ready to tackle them and really start shifting your subconscious belief patterns then keep reading.
Do need support learning how to re-frame your self limiting beliefs? Grab your Free 6-Step Framework here to learn how you can start letting go of thoughts that are holding you back and create new ones to keep moving you forward.
Why Do We Have Self-Limiting Beliefs and Negative Self Talk?
When we were born we were truly innocent. Our brains were like a garden just waiting to be planted with seeds, nurtured and waiting to thrive.
As we developed, our personal experiences, our environments, our joys and our traumas began to shape how we viewed the world and how we viewed ourselves within that world.
Neuroscience tells us that up until the age of 7 we are constantly ‘downloading’ information into our brains. Each one of us downloads different narratives based on our individual experiences, traumas and joys.
Essentially being ‘programmed’.
Think about it, when we are children our minds and brains did not know what self limiting beliefs were. We did not know what was ‘right and wrong’ until we were taught and shaped and ‘programmed’ by the people in our environments. This may have included caregivers, family, friends, religions, schools, TV and now social media.
- Were you told to smile as a child and be a ‘good’ girl or boy? Do you now struggle to express your emotions or feel bad if you feel sadness, anger, frustration or say no to someone?
- Did you constantly hear one of your parents putting the other parent down? Do you have a jaded view of love and struggle with your communication patterns?
- Were you always told money was hard to come by? Did it cause a lot of fighting and tension in the family? Do you find money now to be a topic that is very uncomfortable for you?
- Were you bullied for looking or acting or being a certain way? Do you now put yourself down for the same attributes you were bullied for?
These are just a few examples - there are millions of individual experiences we have had that have shaped who we are and what we believe to be true about the world and ourselves. From severe trauma, neglect, abuse to bullying, low self esteem, lack of parental support ect…these experiences have shaped us into who we are today and what we believe about ourselves.
How do I Overcome and Stop Negative Self Talk and Self-Limiting Beliefs?
By understanding that beliefs are simply thought patterns that are unique to you and can be changed at anytime.
Beliefs are mind habits. They are thoughts and stories we continue to have and think over and over and over again until they are so ingrained in our subconscious mind that we are often unaware of them.
And like any habits we have, they can be changed. They great news? By doing this deeper internal work you will naturally see your external world begin to change because you are going to the root of the issue.
Below are 5 steps to start overcoming self limiting beliefs
STEP ONE: Become Aware of Your Self Limiting Beliefs
Awareness is the first step to making any lasting change.
So many people go through life not even being aware that the beliefs they have created about themselves are holding them back. They never make the conscious decision to ‘call out’ their self limiting beliefs and start learning why they are there and how they can change them.
By acknowledging where our self limiting beliefs may have stemmed from, by bringing awareness to the fact that we all experience self limiting beliefs based on our individual experiences is the first step you need to take in order to 're-program’ these beliefs and stop your negative self talk.
STEP TWO: Be the Scientist of Your Life
Look at your life through a lens of curiosity versus judgement.
Once you are aware of your self limiting beliefs and you have ‘called them out’ the next step is to be the scientist of your own life. Digging a little deeper and understanding where these beliefs may have stemmed from allows you to put them in context as an adult and start to re-frame your beliefs. Was there a particular experience you had that made you feel a certain way and believe a certain thing? Was it cumulative events of being raised in a toxic environment? Was it something someone said to you once that you have never been able to let go of? Start being curious. By acknowledging where these beliefs may have stemmed form you can gain clarity on how you can go about re-framing them. The key is to not get stuck here… it is simply to acknowledge where the thoughts manifested from.
STEP THREE: Consciously Choose to Stop Buying into the Beliefs
Recognize these are beliefs unique to you based on your experiences.Just because you have 'bought into them' your whole life, does not mean you have to keep buying into them. Give yourself permission to let go of the stuff that is no longer serving you and commit to your self awareness and self development.
You are no longer that child who needs other people to tell you what to believe. Choose for yourself.
Make the conscious decision to say no more and start being intentional about working on changing them.
Step Four - Start Building New Beliefs
Now that you have called out your self limiting beliefs, and you have an idea of where they came from, now you have to do the work on re-framing them and re-writing them. Building new beliefs. This is going to look different for everyone… but some ideas to start with are:
When those pesky thoughts pop up you have to catch yourself and begin to stop them.
There are many ways to do this, you can:
- Take time to journal around the thought and belief - self-reflection is one of the most powerful tools in your self development toolkit.
- Find evidence against your belief - has there been a time in your life where this belief was not true? Is there someone you look up to who does not hold this belief?
- Invest in therapy if it is bringing up a lot for you and you need professional help to sort through it.
- Incorporate practical strategies like affirmations, mantras, visualizations, manifesting.
- Learn how to Re-Frame your Beliefs. This helps you to shift into a growth-mindset, challenge your beliefs and go that layer deeper. Need some guidance on how to do this? Check out your Free Workbook to help you learn how to re-frame your self liming beliefs below!
Step Five: Keep at it.
It took years to build these beliefs and it is going to take some time to break them down. Each time you catch yourself in a negative spiral, each time you re-frame a negative thought, each time you courageously call yourself out you are breaking down old beliefs and building up new ones. You are literally rewiring your brain. Don't give up. Show yourself grace on those days when the thoughts win and just keep at it. This is a marathon not a sprint. Learning about the power of mindset is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Invest in yourself and self awareness.
We ALL have self limiting beliefs.
It is our responsibility to ourselves to learn how to challenge them so we can live a happier life.
It takes time.
It is constantly evolving, but the more we work our subconscious mind muscle the stronger we get and the faster we can shut those self-limiting thoughts down when they come up.
If you need help shifting our self limiting beliefs I encourage you to download my free self limit beliefs worksheet that will help guide you in re-framing your self limiting beliefs. It is a tool I use all the time when I start feeling stuck or paralyzed by my negative self beliefs. You can get an instant download here.
What self limiting beliefs are keeping you stuck? Comment below and let me know.
Remember, you are so much more powerful than you know.
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