Have you ever woken up one day and thought to yourself – how the heck did I get here?
You look back on your younger years and wonder where the time went and how you pictured your life looking totally different than it does?
And I know I am not alone.
More and more, I am seeing this with my friends, family and coworkers.
People are waking up to the fact that life goes by too fast and it is time to empower ourselves to make the shifts needed to get aligned with our ideal lives.
Whether you are in a toxic relationship, in a job you hate, engaging in unhealthy habits that are keeping you stuck, or feeling like you don’t really know who you are anymore – then it may be time for a reset in your life.
This is not a bad thing- it is actually an exciting and empowering phase to be in. Albeit can feel a little scary and overwhelming.
The thing to remember in life is:
“The only thing in life that is constant is change.” - Heraclitus
By continuing to self-evolve, to bring awareness to situations, people or circumstance in your life that you need to change is living life – in all it’s glorious and messy ups and downs.
So, if you find yourself in this moment of awareness, what do you do? Where do you start?
In this article I am going to share both my professional and personal thoughts on change. Working in the social services field for the past decade, I work day in and day out with people who are going through significant transitions in their lives and have personally gone through quite a few of my own transitions in my 30 some years of life.
The 6 self development steps below, are the foundational first steps you need to take in order to create change in your life.
This is a pivotal step needed to make change. The fact you are here reading this probably means you are starting to get honest with what you are not happy with something in your life. The first step to any change is awareness. By being aware that you are needing to make some changes, you are telling your preprogramed sub-conscious beliefs and patterns that something has got to change. Start really being honest with yourself about things you are not happy with – your health? Your relationship? Your career? Your friends? Your habits? You are only lying to yourself by staying in the beliefs that are keeping you stuck. This can be difficult – but it is necessary.
A few years ago, when I gained 50 lbs, I stripped down to my undies, looked at myself in the mirror and just cried. I knew I had fallen into unhealthy patterns and it took looking at myself from a point of rawness and vulnerability to admit it. I am not going to lie - it felt awful in the moment and sucked real bad…. But it was the beginning of a beautiful transformation. Awareness and honesty are the foundations for change.
Be honest with yourself. What do you need to change?
This is one of the hardest yet most empowering things you can do in your life. Trust me I grappled with this for months….It is so easy to blame circumstances, other people and experiences for where we are in life. And yes, guaranteed there have been experiences in your life that you had no control over…. However, you have control right now in this moment. You MUST take responsibility for where you choose to go next .
I remember when I first took responsibility for my life – my debt, my weight, my toxic relationship, my unhealthy coping strategies – it again, was difficult. But it was also empowering AF. To finally admit to myself that NO ONE controlled my life but me was terrifying and transformation. Although life is full of change and uncertainty the one thing we can always control is how we respond to them.
Make this mindshift and you will no longer be the victim of your circumstances – but rather the creator of your life.
Making the mindset shifts mentioned above is the first steps, now it is time to make a decision. Living in limbo is so stressful. Think back to a time when you had to make a difficult decision – remember how much weight was lifted off your shoulders when you actually made the decision? It is so easy for us to get stuck in the limbo of “do I, or don’t I?” and this limbo is actually more stressful than actually moving forward once a decision has been made. Make the decision to invest in yourself, your future self and your happiness. Decide that you are no longer going to settle for a mediocre life and you are going to create the life you desire. Look at the changes you need to make and commit to a decision on what you are going to change.
This is the MOST Powerful way to start changing your life. Neuroscience has shown the power of giving our brains a road map of where we want to go. By setting intentions for your life you are beginning to set the course for where you want to go.
Intentions are different than goals in the sense that they are more fluid and encompass who you want to be and how you want to show up in the world. They help you to start taking small aligned actions to move you from where you want to be to where you want to go. >> Need a guide to help you set intentions – I have a free workbook here you can start today!>>
Seriously. Visualization or as the scientific community like to call it “mental rehearsal” gets a bad rap on the internet as being “too out there”, “spiritual” or “hippy dippy”; but more and more scientific research is showing the power visualizing your ideal life has on achieving your goals.
Did you know top athletes use visualization daily? Sports psychologist and athletes alike swear by it. Neuroscience shows the power of this stuff and it is time to start embracing it. Don’t know where to start with visualization? check out my Free Manifesting 101 course that goes into the science behind manifesting and visualization.>>
Action is a requirement for change. Once you move through the mental aspects of acknowledging and accepting change into your life it is now time to take aligned action.
Start listening to those little nudges in your gut that are directing you on where to go next. That course you have always wanted to take but have not given yourself permission to take? Sign up for it. Wondering if your relationship is toxic? Start researching info on toxic relationships. That therapist you know you should see? Go see them. By taking small aligned action you are continuing to build your confidence and move towards the life you now you desire. One small step in front of the other.
Remember, any life transition or period of change can be scary, can be hard, and is always full of emotions.
As humans we like routine, consistency and the known.
However, as humans, we are also so much more resilient and powerful than we ever give ourselves credit for. And through the transformations we only continue to flourish, to grow and to expand.
We are only given this one life to live – how are you doing to live it?
Let me know in the comments below where are you are getting stuck in life or if you have any tips or tricks to add.
Interested in learning more practical tips and strategies for your mental wellbeing and personal development? Check out these articles you may be interested in:
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